Harnessing Professional Growth Through Divorce
Whether you were a stay at home parent or a big shot CEO, there is no doubt that your career will be impacted before, during and, after divorce. Divorce is the domino that takes all others down with it, setting off a chain reaction that impacts all aspects of your life, your career being no exception. If you already have a job, you may find yourself distracted at work and not bringing your best self to your role. If you have been out of the workforce for many years, you may be consumed with fear unsure where to even begin reinventing yourself. The good news is, you may not need to look very far because the complexities of divorce offer the perfect opportunity to develop professional skills, or sharpen the ones you already have. Little did you know that you could thrive in your career after divorce by finding ways to leverage the very skills needed to get divorced: negotiation, resourcefulness, organization, problem solving and conflict resolution. Here is how I did it.
Negotiation
What is not to negotiate in a divorce? From the obvious, like asset division and child custody, to the petty like Christmas ornaments, divorce forces you to work with other parties in finding mutually beneficial solutions. I had no interest in staying in our home, which gave me a fair share of leverage in asking for a lot of the items in the house, including my beloved white couches and Christmas ornament collection. Through the ongoing negotiations, I became better at active listening, articulating my needs, and drawing lines in the sand. These negotiation and conflict resolution skills become transferable assets in a career after divorce, allowing one to advocate for salary increases, navigate complex business deals, reach compromises, and forge win-win outcomes.
Resourcefulness
The other day I built a grill. That’s right, I put together a grill that my sweet parents had bought me as a housewarming gift for my new townhome. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that assembling equipment, especially flammable equipment, would be on my list of accomplishments. Nevertheless, I did it and it was not even that hard. Why? Because during my divorce I got used to navigating completely unfamiliar territory like understanding legal processes, managing finances and making big lifestyle adjustments. All of this required creativity in seeking out information and utilizing available resources efficiently. Stretching beyond your comfort zone requires a set of skills that seamlessly translate into the workplace, and you would be surprised how newfound resourcefulness can improve your career after divorce. For example, I used to be terrified of anything tech-related. Now? YouTube is the greatest teacher I have ever had, and is yet to fail me!
Communication
If you haven’t already discovered this, then you should know that lawyers love meetings and they love emails. Typically they bill in six minute increments, which means you either have to become very efficient in your written and verbal communication or you can kiss that downpayment for your dream home goodbye. Emotions run high during a divorce, especially when dealing with a high conflict or unreasonable spouse and holding your breath through gritted teeth requires copious amounts of grace and humility. Knowing what to say, as well as what not to say, takes practice but will serve you well and keep legal fees down. An improved ability to communicate effectively translates seamlessly into your career after divorce fostering collaboration, preventing misunderstandings, and enhancing relationships with colleagues, clients, and stakeholders.
Problem Solving
From legal matters to emotional problems, divorce has problem solving written all over it. Remember my pride and joy white couches mentioned above? Well, turns out after ‘winning’ them in the divorce, the darn things did not fit into the elevators or make the stairwell angles up to my new apartment. Knowing it was a long time before I could afford furniture like that again, I had to think fast and come up with plan B to find an affordable storage solution. This is just one example of how my divorce offered plenty of opportunity to analyze situations from different angles, identify viable solutions, and make informed decisions. Whether tackling intricate projects or addressing operational issues, your career after divorce stands to benefit from refined problem-solving skills that will drive positive outcomes for you and your company.
Organization
The overwhelm of sifting through legal documents, gathering financial records and maintaining a calendar of meetings is real when it comes to divorce. Staying on top of deadlines, maintaining meticulous records, and juggling multiple responsibilities becomes
second nature. Each time I buried my head in the sand, hoping my financial affidavit would take care of itself, I got a slap on the wrist from my lawyers. Poor organization, carelessness and subpar time management can cost you big time in a divorce. The same applies to work. Who wants an employee that can’t juggle multiple priorities and stay on task amidst unexpected curveballs and stressors? You will be amazed at how your fine tuned organizational skills position you for success in your career after divorce.
As I write this, I am marveling at my beautiful white couches that have finally found a home in my new townhouse. I am also admiring my patio where the grill that I built stands proud. But mostly, I am reflecting on the fact that it was not my bachelors degree or one and a half master's degree that sets me apart in today’s super competitive workforce, but rather skills I was forced to sharpen during my divorce. If your confidence is at an all time low after your divorce, go back and reflect on all the skills you picked up along the way. It shouldn’t take long before you realize that the ordeal you just endured left you with super powers that translate into your personal life, but also into your career after divorce.
