Has anyone ever told you to close your eyes and imagine you are in your “happy place?” I have certainly heard this a lot: when I was in labor with my three daughters, when I was missing home, when I was sad and, most recently through the turmoil of divorce.  This is a place that, real or imagined, you can be transported to simply by using your imagination.  How nice to have such easy access to your dream destination, no expense to get there, no travel delays, no coordination of childcare.  All you need to do is close your eyes….

For me, my destination of choice was a no brainer, South Africa’s Kruger National Park, a place I visited frequently as a child growing up in Johannesburg.  A popular holiday destination for South African families, I developed a passion for the scenery and wildlife in this untouched corner of the world.  Kruger is a special place, a place where I am gripped and subdued and at one with the earth. A place where a complete return to innocence and return to myself is possible.  Where the chaos of the past can be forgotten, and in its place a fresh start and a reminder of who I am at my core before life took its toll on me.

I could write all day long about my love for Africa and how it has inspired and shaped me, but I will save that for another post…

I am still pinching myself at my good fortune to be here, in the Kruger National Park, in the flesh, at the time I am writing this post.  Taking time for myself to go back to my roots, to be something other than a “single-mom” or “divorcee” is a priority for me and I made this trip happen despite COVID, childcare constraints and hurricanes.   I left my daughters with their dad for a week to rekindle my romance with Africa, to make more memories, to imprint more imagery on my brain.  To add more to the mental collection that is my happy place.  

Do you have a happy place?  If not I encourage you to define one and keep this mental tool in your back pocket for when life gets a little too intense. Here are some pointers:

Recall a place where you have appreciated all the senses and beauty coming your way

Example:. mine involves nature in its most untouched form. Your happy place could even be a favorite song or a fragrance that reminds you of someone or something

Remember a time or place where you have experienced deep contentment

Example: perhaps loved ones were around.  Going to the game parks as a young child was not a time to embrace solitude, it was a family affair with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc.

Think of a time where you felt anything was possible

Example: when I am surrounded by such beauty I feel inspired and motivated to make the most of this life I have been given

Think of a place where you feel safe both physically and emotionally

Example: while my happy place is, quite literally, full of wild animals, there is no place I feel safer

Recall a place where you are so able to be in the moment that all worries are forgotten

Example: my interest in tracking animals, bird watching and learning about the “bushveld” consumes me enough that I forget the issue of the day

I am incredibly grateful to have had this time to recharge, to have had this opportunity to reconnect with my first love, Africa, and to be reminded that it will always be there for me, both in reality and, when I close my eyes, from the opposite side of the world. Not everyone is as fortunate, but that is the beauty of your happy place, it is there for the taking once you find it. My suitcase is packed, ready to return to my girls refreshed, and with all kinds of goodness to inspire the mental journey to my happy place. Let’s face it, with the challenges of single parenting, coparenting and navigating the realities of divorce, I will be drawing on this useful cognitive tool a lot.